x_candy

Anyone? I need help & I'll be serious & supportive & genuine.
xxx

I wanna go to uni. I wanna be thin. I want life to be perfect. Lol. I feel like all I do on here is whine. Apologies. Set me thinspo guys, I am 9 stone now!!!!!!! & summer is coming!!! *terror & dread*
xxxxx

I love new year. It's like everything is renewed & gonna get better.
No. It's not. But there's hope. & hope makes things feel OK again. :)
I wanna be OK again.
I'm gonna start the ABC once the painters are out. Lol. Sigh @ them. It hurts. I need to get skinny.
I will be skinny.
I will be OK.
Hit me up with loveage guys. Hope you're all staying strong & embracing the new year.
xxx

Fuck fuck fuck.
This life is shit. SHIT. My dad died on Saturday. Every second hurts. He was like my hero. My best friend. The most amazing person ever. & I'm so sick of tellin me they're sorry for my loss. I didn't LOSE him. It's not like i put him down & then couldn't find him again.

I just want to die so I can be with him.

 

No longer a school girl! :)
Hooray. Well..today is sposed to be a good day. But I ate too much & then purged which is horrible but had to be done. FFS. :( & I stillll look really fat. Which is reallllly annoyin because my girlies are coming over tonight. Which means photos taken. & I am going to look like a blimp.
Plus I'm kinda in a row with my bestie. She's basically been pretty insensitive to me & seems to just forget how I feel if there's a lad involved (when isn't there a lad involved?!). Siiigh. 
I feel like crap. 
I might cry.
I'm supposed to be happy today!
WTF?
xxxx 

Yea baby! :D 
2moro. My last 2 exams. :) & then freeeeedom! After school tomorrow the girlies are gonna come over & we're gonna dress up & have a little celebration. :)
Gotta be careful what I eat tho. Plus tomorrow is day 5, so 100 cals! I'm dreading it.
I binged today. Disgusting. I feel like a fat fat fat pig!
The sun was beautiful tho right?
Also how many calories do u reckon there r in like a pack of sushi? From like M&S?
loveee
xxx 

Ugggh. So at 8 o'clock this morning my dad called the hospital cos he couldn't breathe vey well. 3 hours later no one had come to see him like they said they would & his breathing wasn't getting any better. -_- What the fuck is the point? He could be in serious danger! Do they just not care? 
Anyway I called UCLH but no one picked up. Again. WHAT IS THE POINT? So he's gonna go back to the shitty one near us. Agh. & they are just crap there & he's miserable. I've packed his bag & an ambulance is on it's way. I think I've got everythin he needs & all the files & shizz. 
I wish he didn't have to go back in. :(
It's so horrible seeing someone you love in so much pain. Being so weak when you know that they hate being seen as weak & always strive to be the strong one. Coming into his room in the morning to find his hair all over the pillows cos the chemo is making it fall out. I just wanna curl up into a little ball & cry & hug him like I did when I was little & he could fix everything. 
Pray for us.
xxx

But there's a rainbow above you! 

Gotta love the Eagles baby! It's soo sunny. :) I love it! Sunshiine on my window. Makes me happy. Like I should be! 
I'm feeling good today. :) 
The sun is shining, I was playing the Buffy Musical Soundtrack earlier, my besties are awesome, you guys are lovely, my dad's home & doing well, I have only eaten a pitta today. So like..erm. 150 cals? :) My boyfriend comes here in 48 days! (I have 48 days to get slimmm!) & I have 2 exams standing between me & my fecking longg summer. 
Life is good.
Love you all. :)
Peace.
xxx

Love song by Sara B something that I can't spell.
You should all check it out.
I'm soo bored! :( Gutted. 
Still only 2 exams left. I hope this Summer is hottt. 
I love summer.
xxx 

ABC diet starts tomorrow guyys :)
Yay..
I'm excited kinda coz I wanna be thin. & it's just in time coz my bf is comin here to stay in 50 days. :) Cool yea?
My dad comes home today. He's been in hospital for 2 months so it's gonna be so good to have him home. He has cancer.
I hate cancer. 
But he's having chemo so I hope that will save him.
I wish I could save him though.
xxx

At me right now. I've been too scared 2 weigh myself & I look so fat. & I have NO self control.
Buddies/tips n e 1?
I am looking whaleesque lately!
xxxx